Add to Technorati Favorites Coping with PTSD: PSTD - My Life Story

Saturday 24 March 2007

PSTD - My Life Story

Day 1

Date : 11th February 1982
Place : Eastleigh, England


Time : 18:00HRS

AGE : 17.5yrs OLD

An Average Day, So I Thought..

This is trip back in time. An account of a life changing event. A life threatening event. Those kind of events that leave a mark on the human body, both mental & physical



I am 17.5 yrs old. I am growing up at last. I have my job, an apprentice electrical engineer. I feel content & happy. I have a girlfriend. A dear mum. A family which, with all its isms, I feel part of. I am physically maturing into an adult. I feel strong & growing. I feel alive...

It is 11th February 1982. It is a dark, cold, but clear winters evening. I am on my 125cc motorcycle. On my way home from Eastleigh Technical College, to home in Winchester. I turn into Passfield Avenue. This is a straight road. There are no vehicles in front of me for at least a mile. I accelerate to around 35 mph. At this point I notice a car about 0.5 mile ahead, in the centre of the road, with right hand indicator on, wanting to turn right into Eastleigh Leisure Centre. It feels odd, I know the car has time to make the simple turn long before I pass (I have right of way). I still notice the car sat there as I approach the Leisure Centre (I am still heading straight toward the next main junction).

Then as I am almost parallel with this vehicle, it turns. Right across my path. My body feels with horror in an instant. I have no time to brake. I turn the motorcycle inward trying to avoid impact. But there is no escape. At that point of impact I scream to myself, 'No'. I hit the front of the car with such force, I am spinning through the air. All I see are revolving orange lights. I am letting go of my life at this point. I think to myself this is it. My whole body is racing a million miles an hour, adrenaline filling every molecule of me. But in my mind I am feeling strangely peaceful. This is it, I think to myself. I am letting go of my life, I accept it.

I land many metres away from the impact. Helmet intact (otherwise I would not be writing this now!). I roll over and over. My right leg is in a weird position when I come to rest. It is bent horribly up toward my neck. Then. With an almighty rush, the pain hits me. Pain that you cannot describe. Pain that is beyond measure. I am screaming and crying and cut in two.....

Day 1 Cont'd (Evening)

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